When I think back to my college years, I really didn't think I'd end up in the classroom. Film was my passion. I was part of the film industry for a while. I also worked in corporate America for a short while. I liked what I did, but I felt unfulfilled. I was almost 30, and I did the unthinkable. I made a career shift to education. It wasn't shocking to my family, seeing as many members of my extended family made careers out of education. I started by taking on a long-term sub position at a school for students with intellectual disabilities. I had a passion for that branch of education, stemming from numerous summers spent as a camp counselor at a camp for children with intellectual disabilities. I felt so strongly about that camp and its mission that I even created a documentary about it. When my long-term sub job was completed shortly after winter break, my aunt called to ask me if I would consider coming to work at her school. The sophomore English teacher unexpectedly quit, and the school needed someone to finish the year in her place. Because it was the middle of the year, it was tough to find someone to replace her. The school decided to take a chance on me. After a few weeks of being a provisional sub, the school offered me a full-time teaching contract, and the rest is history. (Fun fact: My work badge is still my sub badge!) In addition to my teaching duties, the school has also made use of my film expertise to update their branding and promotional videos. This year, I teach 10th and 11th grade English, and I still help with occasional film projects.

I have now been in the classroom for almost a full year. In this time, I have faced many challenges. Unsurprisingly, classroom management has been the biggest one. I'm young, and students want to push the boundaries by trying to be my friend. I realized quickly that a thick dark line needs to be drawn to demarcate students from teachers. I have found that is much easier to establish after I started with a fresh group of students in August. Many things have been easier since returning this year. I felt a lot more pressure back in February when I started, because not only did I need to prove that I wouldn't burn down the building or allow my students to run the classroom like an anarchy, I also needed to keep instruction going after my students had been without for almost a month. My hope for myself back then was that I could provide my students with even a modicum of what they needed to learn. 

In terms of learning the curriculum, I was at a decided disadvantage back in February. Very little could have prepared me for what I was stepping into. I am grateful for my teammates in the English department who did everything they could to help me stay afloat. It was a challenge to start a novel with my students from page one and ensure that they gleaned everything from the literature that they possibly could. As I go into this year, I am realizing how much easier teaching is once you've already taught the material once! This year, I have the added challenge of teaching another prep (aka a separate course). While I was happy to not have to teach the same thing all day long, I quickly realized that another prep just means another layer of work to be done. 

Curriculum aside, another unexpected challenge for me was navigating the process of taking time off. I'm used to working in corporate America, where if I woke up ill, I logged my time and told my boss I'd be out for the day. I could pick up where I left off when I returned, and everyone made adjustments. As a teacher, it's not so easy. I have to come up with a plan for what needs to happen in my absence and arrange for coverage. I struggled to even call in sick when I realized that the repercussion of my absence is that one of my colleagues would likely have to give up their planning time to sit with my students. I sat with the absence reporting website open for almost half an hour before I submitted my request. I hate how I had to agonize over whether or not I would take the day off, even when I logically knew that going to work in my condition would have been massively irresponsible. There has to be a better way than this. 

Overall, I love my students, but I quickly realized that disparities can exist between the expectations of parents, students, and school staff. I work with a dedicated team of teachers who work to make their classrooms efficient learning environments. However, I have noticed that some parents are quick to go on the defensive towards their child's teachers instead of digging a little deeper into the situation. I wish that parents would approach misunderstandings with curiosity instead of immediately assuming the worst about a teacher's actions or intentions. Sometimes, we see students who aren't upholding their end of the workload by wasting class time or simply not completing assignments. Teachers are compassionate people by nature, but that compassion can be strained by students who don't take advantage of time or resources provided to them. I also see students who are averse to high-pressure situations. I feel that teachers are good at removing needless pressure from students, but if we take away all pressure, then I worry that we'll be doing our students a disservice by not giving them opportunities to build the skills required to navigate challenging situations in the future. As I often say, we all need to be rowing the boat in the same direction to ensure successful outcomes for all students.

Despite the numerous struggles I've faced and the ever-present feeling of imposter syndrome, I am learning how to feel more confident and to recognize my successes. One win I've experienced is having students request to be in my class or former students asking me to proofread their papers. Small moments like those are validating to me. They show me I have successfully forged a meaningful connection. I have edified my students to a point at which they purposefully seek my counsel. Moments like those make me feel like I have made the right career move. Possibly the best moment I've had so far is witnessing the personal growth one of my students has made since transferring to my school this year. She faced a lot of trauma at the hands of her old school and came to me so nervous that she could hardly hold up a conversation. Despite her intense anxiety, I kept making small efforts to show her that things could be different this year. At a recent conference held between the student, her parents, and teachers, we had an open conversation about how she has grown and matured since August. Ever since that conference, this girl has opened up and her confidence has skyrocketed. There is something rewarding about witnessing a person come to life after being a complete ball of nerves for so long. To know that I played even a small role in her transformation has been incredible to me! I cannot wait to see the way that I can continue to play a role in stories much like hers!